Ego in the Church

Aaaa what a week. Work, family, play, relaxation, conversation, down time, mean people and nice people. My week had it all. The problem was that it was highlighted by something that simply drives me crazy; ego in the church.

Since time began people have disappointed each other, leaders have mistreated followers and corrupt humans have disrespected life. It’s part of who we are as fallen beings and it never feels good when having to deal with it. We make mistakes, hurt others and operate as hypocrites. It just happens. When it happens in the church, however, it stings a little differently. It stings the soul and causes hurt to sink straight to the deepest most vulnerable places of our heart. It’s a hurt that can drive people away from the Lord and ruin faith. Those who we are supposed to trust the most can suddenly and without warning cast us aside as if we were worthless and unnecessary.

One of my biggest pet-peeves is watching people in the church operate this way; especially leaders. One of the ways it happens the most within the church is through inflated ego. Ego is such an ugly thing as it ultimately brings hurt to those under it. Ego is everywhere; in and out of the church. Almost every leader and influential person seems to carry a bit of ego. There is nothing more disgusting than watching someone so full of themselves blatantly spew arrogance through their actions and words. Egotistical leaders in the church can be even more nauseating as their egos are tied to some special “holy hierarchy”, which obviously doesn't mix well and can make them very dangerous in their actions, subsequently pushing people away or disconnecting themselves from others as they get lost in their special clicks with others that “fit in”.

Why is it that people with a church title can begin to operate as though their title entitles them? What brings them to the place where they begin to think they are more than a commoner unlike the “rest of us”? I actually believe that most leaders dealing with an inflated ego love the Lord with all their heart and simply do not realize they are acting in this manner. Therefore, as I learned this week we must keep from being offended and becoming bitter toward the church when a leaders ego gets the best of them.

Though I did not necessarily deal with someone’s personal arrogance this week my disdain for inflated ego was brought back to the forefront of my mind as I dealt with the situation. I was disappointed by someone’s response to me and though they did not commit some unforgivable sin I became increasingly frustrated. I know this person to be a very good and Godly individual and thus I should have given them the benefit of the doubt before allowing my feelings to be hurt. However, the more I tried to push it aside the more I became trapped in my thoughts. Thankfully we serve a graceful God that desires our growth and maturity and thankfully He gave me a wife that prays for me and humbles me ever so gently with her words of wisdom.

Let me explain. First of all, God reminded me that I am far from perfect. I realized that I will be the disappointment for someone at some point and have been plenty of times in the past. Therefore, if I want people to be graceful with me when I become an egotistical problem then I must learn to always be graceful with others. Secondly, I was reminded that God is still God no matter how disappointed I become with someone. He still loves me and He loves those I am upset with. If I do not keep my focus on these facts I will open a door to the enemy who wants to kill, steel and destroy (John 10:10). Scripture says in 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV) that "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour". He waits for his opportunity to make a mess of our lives. He can do this by manipulating our emotions so that we become bitter, angry and offended; leading us to unforgiveness and ultimately to separation in the church; something not on Jesus’ heart (read John 17).

The plain and simple fact is that we will be hurt by people. There are leaders with big egos and they will make us want to walk away. Yet to do so would be a bigger crime than what has already been committed. We become part of the problem if in the end we walk away and allow their disappointing action to control our thoughts and emotions.

This is where my wife really helped me. She brought to my attention 2 Corinthians 10:5. It reads in the NIV, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ". Couple this with the words of Philippians 4:8 & 9 and one can easily see that God foreknew that we would be offended by people and our minds and emotions would come under attack during our lives. We must protect ourselves and guard against those things that can become inroads for the enemy to use against our hearts. To do so by running from the church in anger, however, is not the answer. There may be legitimate times to distance ourselves from destructive people but to leave or to stop trusting the church is not the answer. The church is the Bride of Christ and He loves her dearly. He believes in her and desires her company. He has a plan for her and expects her to fulfill that plan. It can only do so, though, if she stays intact and her members remain unified.

James 2:1-13 speaks of favoritism. To me it addresses the issue of ego in the church and its destructive nature. Ultimately, despites some bad experiences, I do trust the church and its leaders. However, to me many leaders (including myself) need to take a step back and read this again and again, praying its words and asking the Lord to show them where they have mistreated people because of a lack of true humility. Non-leaders or church followers must keep praying for them as well and ultimately trust that what the Lord is doing in them is good and will be complete as they grow and mature through their lives. They must also be willing, as the Lord leads, to respectfully speak up when appropriate and necessary. As a good friend recently reminded me, Jesus did not "...come to bring peace to the earth...but a sword" (Matt. 10:34, NIV). Therefore, we must be willing, as Jesus was, to cut through the muck and mire no matter how uncomfortable it can be. A good leader and true man or woman of God will receive it in due time. They are in their positions because the Lord placed them their. They will recognize Him when He speaks.

As members of the Bride of Christ we must not get consumed with the things that worldly institutions and even religion gets consumed with. We must look and live differently. Authority and popularity can never lead to an inflated ego that keeps one from being an effective Sheppard. Nor can we allow the ego of a leader cause us to move away from the lover of our souls or the Bride He so cares for. If ego is allowed to run our lives, whether as a part of who we are or as a result of someone else’s actions we will miss the point and people in need of help will be left unloved and uncared for. If we allow the results of ego to separate us from our leaders we will cease becoming the beautiful, united bride of Christ. We must as Ephesians 4:2 (NIV) says, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all".